


get it on the low

by heonied (orphan_account)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Confessions, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Smut, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 13:17:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14379450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/heonied
Summary: Kihyun finds himself getting more than he bargained for when he realises his feelings for Son Hyunwoo are getting out of control.





	get it on the low

It's not that Kihyun doesn't like Hyunwoo.  
  
He does and that's the problem.  
  
Because it's not what they had agreed on, because it's not what the other man expects or wants.  
  
And Kihyun tried pushing it away, telling himself it's just the sex and Hyunwoo's cock's undue influence that's keeping him from thinking straight. That's what he told Minhyuk every time the boy asked what's going on between them. He is the only person that knows about their little arrangement. Because Kihyun doesn't know what else to call it. It isn't a relationship or a romance, although at times when Hyunwoo's glued to him, covering every inch of his body with his hands and mouth, oh so gently, Kihyun likes to think that that's what they are.  
  
But it's silly. And his mind is telling him to end it. That's what he was supposed to do last night but then Hyunwoo's large warm hands held onto his hips so tightly, he couldn't escape even if he wanted to.  
  
He lets himself be taken away and lies to his brain that it's just for his own pleasure. It's supposed to be all about him, right?  
  
So why does he fish so desperately for every moan and grunt that comes out the other man's mouth, why does he spend his free moments coming up with new ways to seduct Hyunwoo, new things they could try out in bed that would make him close his eyes and throw his head back in pleasure? Why has pleasuring Hyunwoo become his life goal so suddenly?  
  
Hyunwoo likes to cuddle after sex. And that drives Kihyun insane. It'd be so much easier to treat this as nothing more than frequent hook-ups, no strings attached, if he could just clean himself up put his pants back on and walk out of Hyunwoo's tiny apartment. But the older man is persistent, gentle and soft, and his body is so so warm, Kihyun can't really be blamed for wanting to hold onto it as Hyunwoo slowly strokes his hair and whispers sweet little praises.  
  
Some days Kihyun thinks that maybe Hyunwoo does like him back. Some days he wants to come up to him and kiss him passionately out of nowhere, to look up and see the reaction in his eyes, and he thinks maybe then he'd know if it's true.  
  
But Hyunwoo doesn't bother to throw a glance in his direction at campus. Not even during classes when they're sitting in the same room. And it drives Kihyun mad, makes him feel so worthless even though he would never admit it out loud.  
  
Kihyun is known at university for his self confidence and level-headed approach towards important matters. He is known as that guy from the student council who's always loudly arguing to prove his point. Passionate, some would call him, annoying, others would say. He doesn't care. He likes being in power, knowing that his opinions and actions matter and he can actually change something in his life, instead of standing by idly while others decide for him. Not when it comes to Hyunwoo, though.  
  
If anyone knew what a submissive mess he becomes when the two of them are left alone, if they knew how Kihyun is ready to do anything Hyunwoo tells him to or how he can't even find it in himself to say no to Hyunwoo and end this sick situation, if they knew, no one would ever take him seriously at school anymore.  
  
Sometimes he dreams of Hyunwoo but it's never sexual. It's simple and sweet, just the man's presence in his life, by his side during the simplest daily tasks. Kihyun worries it's becoming an obsession and he slaps himself mentally every time he wakes up from one of those dreams.  
  
Then in the evening he comes obediently to Hyunwoo's place, and then comes in another sense when the man's hands work him diligently, and then other times he doesn't even need that and he thinks it's crazy that he's able to find release in the force of Hyunwoo's thrusts alone.

Hyunwoo doesn't talk a lot during sex. Sometimes he slips a small praise here and there when he sees Kihyun is struggling or when the boy begs for it in between hitched breaths. When he's really turned on he'll say something so dirty it makes Kihyun's head spin. But the fact that he stays quiet most of the time helps Kihyun come back down to earth and think about it more clearly. It helps him see what he is to Hyunwoo - a boy who's agreed to be his private sex toy, a good fuck and nothing more.  
  
And as much as it hurts admitting that to himself, he needs it, to stop his mind and heart from falling in deeper.

 

( . . . )  
  
He has ignored Hyunwoo for the last 5 days. Making up an excuse about how busy he is because of classes and his duties in the student's council and Hyunwoo is disappointed. Of course, the man is horny practically 24/7 so going so long without his favourite doll must be straining. But even so, he acts as if it were nothing cause they've agreed that they don't own each other.  
  
But Kihyun misses him too and when it gets too much he jerks himself off quickly in his room whispering Hyunwoo's name under his breath, in a desperate attempt to make it feel just as good. But of course it doesn't and Kihyun feels absolutely pathetic when he's done.

 

( . . . )  
  
Minhyuk's loud hustle in the kitchen wakes him up, eyelids heavy and he thinks there's no way it's morning already and his roommate must be out of his mind. But when he looks at the clock it's 20 minutes past his alarm and he thinks he must've turned it off mid-sleep. Hurriedly he gets out of bed and puts on some decent clothes, his mind spinning from how fast he stood up. He goes into the kitchen and makes a fuss at Minhyuk for not waking him up and the boy just tells him he's not his babysitter. Kihyun's mood is already ruined.  
  
The crowd that appears in front of his eyes as he enters the school yard annoys him beyond belief. Everyone so relaxed and slow, as if they had nowhere to go and only came here to stand around in the middle of other people's way.  
  
"Yah, Kihyunnie!" he feels a strong force tug on his arm, while he's walking through the halls, making him turn around abruptly to see the person who dares bother him in his current state. It's the upperclassman Shin Hoseok, who is also an active member of the uni community. Always cheerful and with a smile on his face, despite his seemingly tough appearance.  
  
Kihyun realises he must be making an awfully outraged face when he sees the horror in Hoseok's eyes as he begins to apologise for disturbing him.  
  
"No worries." Kihyun dismisses it quickly and takes a deep breath as he tries to make his face expression less hostile. "What's up?"  
  
"You weren't picking up the phone so I had hoped to catch you and inform you about a council meeting today at 12." It's true, he's put his phone on silent to ignore any calls or texts from Hyunwoo, so that he does not give into temptation. "About the whole student union issue." Hoseok continues "Will you be able to make it?"  
  
"Yea, of course."  
  
And so he finds his way to the meeting room at 11.56am, sitting down and greeting all his friends. The people gathered blabber on for ages about an issue that could be simply resolved in a matter of seconds but of course every one of these pricks feels the need to express their opinion and make everyone else suffer. He has class in 15 minutes so he hands in his notes to Hoseok as he excuses himself out the meeting room and says he'll email everyone a careful plan this evening, up for consideration. Of course he's gotta do everything himself.  
  
He's about to be late for class when he finally reaches the doors to the study hall but before he can enter he feels someone pulling him in from the back. Why is it that everyone thinks they can just push him around all the time? Is a simple "excuse me" too much to ask for?  
  
He turns around, enraged only to face Hyunwoo, who pulls him by the hand and without a word hides them both from sight behind a wall on the corner. Kihyun almost gasps in surprise and his mind can't quite comprehend what's happening. Hyunwoo never even talks to him at campus.

His eyebrows are furrowed and he eyes Kihyun up and down before he finally opens his mouth.  
  
"You've been ignoring me." he states firmly, staring right into Kihyun's eyes.  
  
The boy swallows roughly, trying to calm his nerves down and not show any signs of how much the closeness between them is affecting him.  
  
"I told you I was busy." he answers as he tries to wriggle himself out of Hyunwoo's grip. He succeeds but Hyunwoo doesn't back away.  
  
"You seeing someone else?" he asks bluntly out of nowhere and Kihyun furrows his brows in response, mouth parting to say something.  
  
"No, I didn't mean it like that." Hyunwoo clarifies quickly, finally taking a step back and he drags his hand through his short brown hair to push it away from his forehead.  
  
"It's no big deal." he shrugs "Just if you are, I'd like to know. I think it's only fair, yea?" he barely even blinks and Kihyun feels himself getting upset at his words and emotionless expression. He wishes he hadn't added that, because for a moment the thought of Hyunwoo actually getting jealous over him excited him.  
  
"I'm not. I'm just busy. I have other things to do." he sounds angry and that's how he feels on the inside.  
  
"You have time tonight?" Hyunwoo asks after a sigh and a long moment of silence on Kihyun's part.  
  
The boy can't believe this guy's gut.  
  
"No. I have to write out this plan on student unions..." he doesn't know why he's justifying himself, a simple no should be enough for Hyunwoo.  
  
"Why are you so insistent anyway? I bet there's a lot of people here who'd kill to get fucked by you. Just need to pick one, if you're so desperate." Kihyun's ears have turned full red and Hyunwoo looks completely stunned by his straight-forwardness.  
  
"You're right." he says emotionlessly after a moment, looking away from Kihyun's face and the boy can feel his heart sinking at how genuinenly hurt Hyunwoo looks. "I guess I seemed a bit clingy just now. Won't happen again."  
  
Kihyun opens his mouth to say something but no words come to his mind.  
  
Hyunwoo stays quiet for a moment as if gathering his composure back while Kihyun just looks at him, lips parted, all types of feelings boiling up inside his head.  
  
The man sighs again, this time more heavily.  
"You have my number if you need me." he says unenthusiastically before Kihyun is left all alone, back facing the cold wall behind him. He releases a breath he didn't realise he was holding. All he wants to do is cry.

 

( . . . )  
  
Hyunwoo hasn't contacted him for the last week. Not a single text or call and Kihyun is close to a breakdown every time he thinks about it. He is too proud to make the first move. Or just too ashamed and has no idea what to even say to the man.  
  
Minhyuk sits down on the couch next to him and grabs a handful of potato chips from the bag in Kihyun's lap.  
  
"So. What's up?" he asks as he turns the volume of the tv down, signalising that he expects Kihyun to pay attention to him now.  
  
"Nothing much." Kihyun munches at his chips unbothered.  
  
"No, I mean what is up with you? You've been acting weird lately. Don't even try to lie to me, something is up and you need to talk about it before it eats you alive."  
  
Kihyun's eyes are still focused on the screen although his brain isn't really processing the images before him, too distracted by thinking about a certain someone and whether he should even confess what's lying heavy on his heart to his friend. Minhyuk elbows his side gently, as an urge to speak and also to help him snap out of his silence.  
  
So he tells him pretty much everything. Once he starts the words just pour out of his mouth and it feels good to empty his mind and rid of all those thoughts.  
  
Minhyuk doesn't say anything right away, petting his hand and nodding from time to time to show that he's listening to Kihyun's pathetic rambling.  
  
"You know you need to talk to him soon, right?" Kihyun nods softly, sniffling.  
  
"What do you want to hear from me? Some comforting words or the truth?" Minhyuk asks honestly.

"The truth."

The blonde takes a deep breath. "You know what I'd do if I were you? I'd _make him mine_. Play his game, if that's what he wants but I'd fuck him so good he wouldn't be able to ever think about another man."  
  
"That's not what I want though." Kihyun says but he doesn't sound confident, his tone is upset and mocking "We're just fuck-buddies after all."  
  
Minhyuk doesn't believe him.  
  
"So if you found out he was seeing someone else, you wouldn't get jealous, is that what you're telling me?"  
  
Of course he'd get jealous.

Minhyuk takes his silence as an answer.  
  
"Listen, I obviously can't tell you what to do but I know you, Ki. I know how you are with these things. And if you think this will go away if you just push it back and ignore it you're an idiot. We both know your heart doesn't work that way."  
  
Minhyuk is always so painfully honest. And he's always so right, even if Kihyun doesn't want to ever admit it.  
  
"So what, I just call him out of nowhere after days of being a jerk?" he realises his situation is hopeless. He would simply feel bad if he just drove to Hyunwoo's apartment right now, just to use him the way he's been using Kihyun. He didn't want that. Or did he? Maybe a little revenge would be good.  
  
Minhyuk smiles mischievously.  
  
"Let's get you to wear something nice, hm?"

 

( . . . )

Kihyun feels like a fool. He inhales as much air as his lungs can store before knocking on the door he's been standing in front for the last 5 minutes.  
  
The loose silk shirt he's wearing is tugged inside a pair of black skinny jeans, so skinny Kihyun feels like he can barely move in them but Minhyuk let out a whistle as he saw him in them and said that his ass looked "smoking hot" so Kihyun believed him. Now he regrets it. He should never have listened to Lee Minhyuk, that's rule number one.  
  
But it feels like this evening he's breaking all the rules anyway.  
  
His heart freezes when he hears the door open. Hyunwoo is wearing a white t-shirt and sweatpants, hair messy and Kihyun finds him so unbelievably sexy like this, it should be illegal.  
  
The older man doesn't hide his surprise at the sight of Kihyun unannounced at his doorstep but he favours him with a small smile when Kihyun shoots an awkward "hi" his way.  
  
He invites him inside.

 

( . . . )

"God, I missed you." Hyunwoo groans as he quickens the pace of his fingers and Kihyun feels his eyes roll to the back of his skull.  
  
"Gonna fuck you so hard tonight. Use you all for myself."  
  
Kihyun's eyes shoot open at his words. His hand jumps to grab at Hyunwoo's wrist immediately stopping his fingers from fucking into him as he lifts his head up.  
  
" _No._ " he says.  
  
Hyunwoo looks confused, slowly pulling his hand back. It looks like he wants to ask why but they just stare at each other as Kihyun licks his lip and tries to think of what he wants to say. Hyunwoo waits for him, patient, but panic is slowly building up in his mind.  
  
"Lay down." Kihyun suddenly commands and it's so out of his usual character Hyunwoo obeys, if only just because his curiousity is eating him alive. He doesn't know what's gotten into Kihyun but he's eager to find out.  
  
The boy pushes the sheets to the side as Hyunwoo lays down and pulls up a pillow under his neck to be able to see Kihyun better. The smaller boy doesn't look him in the eye, instead focusing his gaze on Hyunwoo's half-hard cock as he takes it firmly in his tiny hand and gives it a few quick strokes. Hyunwoo hisses at how cold Kihyun's hands feel.  
  
Kihyun lifts himself up on his knees and climbs on top of Hyunwoo, positioning himself directly above his cock and without any warning or even adding more lube he takes Hyunwoo's member in his hand and places it below his own entrance, pushing his hips down slightly. It takes everything he has in him to hold back a moan as he feels Hyunwoo slowly fill him up. He's gotten too tight and it's hard to grind down on a cock as smoothly as he'd like to. Hyunwoo sees Kihyun's eyes shut tight and waits for him to adjust himself and relax around him, then watches as the boy bites down on his lower lip harshly as he starts moving his hips ever so slightly. Hyunwoo brings his hands up to place them at Kihyun's soft slim waist but the boy yanks them away quickly shooting him an angry glare.  
  
"Don't." he hisses and goes right back to fucking himself on Hyunwoo's thick cock.  
  
His head is thrown back, soft moans slipping past his mouth, not looking at Hyunwoo even for a second and for some reason that just turns the man on even more, so he starts bucking his hips up a little to keep up with the boy's rhythm.  
  
"Kihyunnie..." he growls "You feel so good."  
  
"Shut up." Kihyun says, his voice so breathy and shaky it's hard to take him seriously but his teeth are gritted and his face focused and determined.  
  
"You're not fucking me." he says angrily through his teeth " _I'm fucking myself_. So just shut up."  
  
Hyunwoo has never seen him this angry or forceful in the bedroom and as much as he loves having Kihyun as his obedient little doll, that he can fuck in any way he desires, this was hot in its own way too. He feels Kihyun move his ass up and down his shaft much steadier and more confidently than before and he lets a low moan leave his mouth. He's missed him, he really has, to the point he's ready to come inside him already, without any warning.  
  
And Kihyun is in his own world, completely blissed out as he rides Hyunwoo's cock with so much motivation and confidence. His hand goes up to his own dick, which is leaking slowly onto Hyunwoo's stomach and the boy rubs it smoothly, as his other arm tries to support the weight of his body.  
  
Hyunwoo can't take it anymore and he pushes himself up to a sitting position lifting the younger boy with him.  
  
Kihyun's eyes shoot open.  
  
"What are you-" he starts but is forcefully stopped from saying anything as Hyunwoo takes this occasion to slide his tongue in the boy's mouth, tugging at his neck and gently positioning his lips against Kihyun's.  
  
Kihyun tries to protest but Hyunwoo kisses him  stubbornly and he feels his body give out under the influence of Hyunwoo's warm wet mouth.

The older man pulls back and without opening his eyes goes to suck on Kihyun's neck, grabbing his ass firmly and making him bounce on his cock lightly. Kihyun moans involuntarily as he struggles to pick himself up and ride Hyunwoo in this position. It's so much more intimate, his brain notes, the older boy's body pressed so close to his, his nipples rubbing against his own chest and at this point every little touch makes Kihyun's legs shake out of control. He wraps his arms tightly around Hyunwoo's back, fingers digging deeply into his soft flesh.  
  
Hyunwoo detaches his mouth from Kihyun's gently bruised up neck and makes a sort of whimper, the sound making the younger boy loosen his grip.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kihyunnie." he whispers, breath hot against Kihyun's neck. "I lied. I don't want no one else but you."  
  
Kihyun's hazy mind takes a while to process the words he's hearing but when it does, he hides his face in Hyunwoo's shoulder and digging his right hand into the man's hair goes back into slowly grinding on his dick.  
  
They fuck like this, completely lost in each other's embraces and Kihyun thinks it's the most intimate he's ever been with anyone. He feels Hyunwoo everywhere: thrusting deep inside him, hands all over his skin, mouth leaving wet trails on his neck and chest, hair smelling of some sort of flower he can't even properly recall the name of. It overwhelms him and he feels like he's gonna pass out as he cums all over his own and Hyunwoo's stomach, panting and moaning his name without any self control.  
  
Hyunwoo wants to cry from how sweet Kihyun's melodic moans sound and he realises how much he's missed them and how he never really wants to stop hearing them. He holds Kihyun's shaky thighs in place as he struggles to continue thrusting up into him, the boy's arms weakly hanging off his shoulders and brushing against his back.  
  
Hyunwoo reaches his orgasm soon after, biting his front teeth into Kihyun's shoulder and making the boy hiss. Kihyun sways his hips softly, riding Hyunwoo through his orgasm and the man thinks this must be what heavan feels like. He tries to regain his posture, coming down from his high. Kihyun is still wrapped around him, cheek brushing softly against his neck. He hugs him back and they stay like this until Hyunwoo feels it's high time he pulls out. Kihyun groans when he feels emptiness inside him, cum dripping down his thighs slowly.  
  
Kihyun always finds the aftermath of sex awkward and he wishes he could skip it but this time it is even worse. He wants to tell Hyunwoo everything but he knows he cannot. And even if this felt so much different than all the other times they fucked, he needs to stop fooling himself. He just wants to run away but Hyunwoo's arms are locking him firmly in place.  
  
Hyunwoo hums against his neck.  
  
"Will you keep seeing me?" he asks, sounding like a lost puppy.  
  
Kihyun knows he'll say yes. He can't deny the fact that he doesn't think he'd survive without this. Without having Hyunwoo close. But he doesn't want it to go back to what it was before. He wants more.  
  
Once again he doesn't know how to tell Hyunwoo what he needs.  
  
The older man seems alarmed by the lack of response and lifts his head up to look Kihyun in the eyes, trying to read whatever's hiding in them.  
  
Kihyun still doesn't say anything.  
  
"Kihyunnie?" he calls his name carefully. "What is it?"  
  
And Kihyun doesn't think he can take it anymore. He feels a tear roll down his cheek. Then another from the other side. And then he's breaking down before he can even lower his face to hide that fact.  
  
Hyunwoo is terrified.  
  
"What is it? Kihyun, what is it? Did I hurt you? Are you okay?" he sounds desparate and panicked, his hands wandering up to cup at Kihyun's wet blushing cheeks.  
  
Kihyun sniffs his nose and lifts his jaw up a bit, to fit into Hyunwoo's large hands perfectly.  
  
"I do want to keep seeing you." he nods his head frantically. "I just..."  
  
Hyunwoo rubs his thumb on the boy's soft skin, barely keeping himself from kissing Kihyun's lips until he's smiling again, giggling under his touch.

"I want _more_." his voice breaks completely at the last word and he's back to shamefully sobbing into the palms of his hands.  
  
Hyunwoo calms him down, patient, kissing his head and trailing small circles on the boy's back. He's incredibly uncomfortable, Kihyun's weight proving a bit of a strain to his thighs as the boy still hasn't moved from where he was kneeling down in his lap. But he lets Kihyun's tears roll down his shoulders, lets him cry while he wonders what's troubling that beautiful mind of his. He wants to ask what the boy means, what _more_ is to him but he doesn't think Kihyun is capable of providing an answer.  
  
"Whatever you need, Kihyunnie. You just tell me." he says hoping it'll ease the boy's worries.  
  
Kihyun calms down after a minute and looks up at Hyunwoo, still teary eyed, the blush all over his face making him look so pitiful and vulnerable. His lips tremble but he's firmly looking into Hyunwoo's eyes. That's just how Kihyun is. No matter how low he falls, he always gets up on his shaky legs and tries to keep going.  
  
"I like you." he finds the strength in himself to admit that out loud, his mind going 'fuck it' and risking it all on a whim. He thinks his heart is going to jump out of his chest.  
  
Hyunwoo looks at him, his expression unreadable.  
  
"Are you sure?" he says slowly.  
  
What does he mean is he sure? Does he think Kihyun just cried his eyes out as a joke?  
  
"Of course I'm fucking sure." Kihyun spits back and he sees Hyunwoo's eyes crinkle and squeeze shut almost completely as his mouth forms the sweetest smile Kihyun has never seen in his life.  
  
Hyunwoo chuckles.  
  
Kihyun is confused.  
  
"W-why are you laughing?" Kihyun feels like he's going to explode and beat this guy's ass up in a second, despite Hyunwoo being twice his size.  
  
Hyunwoo leans down and places a kiss on his cheek.  
  
"Do you wanna sleep over?"

 

**Author's Note:**

> UGH idk what this is honestly i wrote most of it on the bus and then tried to finish it when i came home so i know its very messy and incomplete but... its a cute idea yea? or something idk
> 
> ill just leave the rest up for everyones imagnation
> 
> man here i am posting another showki fic while i have a 3rd one drafted,,,,, and i dare say joohyuk is my fav ship.. GOTTA WRITE SOME JOOHYUK SOON. (also showhyung on the way! and i need to update my other two fics... damn lotta work a man has to do) anyway wish me luck and if you like showki go read [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14353707/chapters/33131100) instead


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